ABOUT THAT STRETCH OF A MONTH AND A HALF WITHOUT POSTING...I'll keep it simple. My mental health took a nose dive.
My chronic skin condition flared up and paired with an eyelid infection, and took a very long time to "heal". Autoimmune disease was explored as a diagnoses for long term issues. Trying to get "back to normal" was slow and painful. My "normal" isn't really the baseline for most folks anyhow. All of this really got to me. For a brief moment, I even lost interest in my garden. The motivation to water and tend to it dropped off a cliff. Trying to just take care of myself while still keeping the household running was the time filler. Don't worry, the garden was still taken care of. But I lost sight of my faith in the care of it for a brief time. There was discouragement on other fronts too. And writing dropped off too. So that brings me to mid August, hoping perhaps there is still an audience for this blog. If you wandered away I do not blame you. The good news is, health struggles have plateaued, even though they still linger. The overwhelm has subsided for now and the garden looks great. We had to move a few things and I lost a handful of plants to miner bugs who just couldn't be contained with judicious leaf pruning. No black eyed susans, the nasturtiums retired early, and the tomatoes weakly "pooped out" three tiny tomatoes, only one of them with marginal blossom rot, two pristine. It really just seemed like minimal effort from the tomatoes, who also were complete divas when it came to watering. Lesson learned: hanging basket tomatoes NEED A LOT OF SOIL. Not these little weak sauce baskets from the dollar store. It's very cute, Nina, but every Italian Nonna in the world shakes her head (thankfully, not really.. how shameful and embarrassing would that be...) Good things happening in the garden: two handsome brussels sprouts that look like they will produce! Purple prince turnips showing signs of thriving, cold weather broccoli sown and transplanted in staggered intervals for maximum broccoli in the winter, and Bok Choy and Gai lan sown. Tahtsoi was sown, but was overheated with the weather we just experienced. It's ok, Tahtsoi. I feel the same. Oh! And Dinosaur Kale (also called Lacinato by those who don't have a four year old going through a serious dino phase). The summer is winding down. The other things I have sown may or may not grow. This garden has been like a laboratory for six months. There are things that will need some care before they overwinter, and the things taken from the garden to eat will eventually wane completely. I don't think I'll plant again after October. Maybe sooner than than. This winter will require some rest, for the soil and for me. We are facing some big life changes (aside from those 2020 has already provided) and my focus will go to those things. I am unsure if I will keep posting to this blog. I felt I should at least follow up. In the grand scheme of things my struggles do feel insignificant. Yes, they still matter. But 2020 has drawn all of the air out of the "self pity chamber". I can still struggle. We all do. But that is a place I am actively resisting. This is no time for selfishness. And yes, I've even learned that in the garden this year. This year is raw. It has left me this way too. But for the better.
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NinaNoot- Christina (Nina) Wonglong time illustrator of whimsical things and a woman with a green thumb. Compassion and a desire to do something helpful compels me to write and share about gardening in hopes it may bring healing and delight to the souls of others as it has to mine. Check in every week on Tuesday for the unfolding story of my own garden alongside small growing project ideas, my successes and failures, and a sincere dose of hope in this moment of covid-19. Archives
August 2020
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